For
Happier Hearts – Take Time To ‘HEAL’
By Nicola
Forshaw,
NJ Coaching
Great relationships are good for you. People who experience
relationships that make them feel fulfilled, valued, loved and
worthwhile, thrive. People in supportive relationships feel
healthier, happier and are much less likely to have mental or
physical health problems.
However, with one in three marriages ending in divorce, as do
two out of three in second marriages, finding that lasting,
happy union is becoming increasingly rare. So how can we
protect ourselves if we are experiencing the breakdown of a
close relationship? It’s very common to hit the bottle, to
sleep around, to lose sleep, to binge eat or stop eating
altogether. But what about the detrimental effects these
extreme comfort tactics have upon our mental and physical
wellbeing? Why not try the HEAL method, to experience a
holistic and natural approach to accelerating the recovery
process.
‘H’
is for HALT
STOP – stop denying reality, stop destructive behaviours, stop
beating yourself up! Denial is a very natural phase in any
healing process, but only increases prolonged suffering. Face
up to the realities – this is very painful, but releases a lot
of negative tension, and it stops wasting precious energy on
fantasies such as taking revenge or being reunited. Accept what
you cannot change. Some of the realities are – you are hurt,
you are emotional, you are in pain, you are empty, you are
lonely. This final emotion is the most difficult to come to
terms with. But remember, not any one person can bring you
every happiness. You are your own best friend, realise it.
‘E’
is for EMPATHISE
Empathise with yourself, look into yourself for honest answers,
don’t judge yourself, but look to how you have contributed to
the situation and take responsibility. Accept the reality, ask
questions such as “did you put your ex on a pedestal?”, or “were
there any warning signs?”. Explore your feelings, don’t hide
from them, feel them and experience release when you let them
go.
‘A’
is for ACCEPTANCE
Accept the lessons. Learn from them. Sometimes the only way we
pay attention to our needs is when we feel them at their
extremes, and sometimes this can be through pain. What are the
lessons you have learned about self-esteem, love, your choice of
partner? What have you learnt about your fears within
relationships? As you learn from these areas, you are growing,
and preparing to let love back into you life - should you want
or choose to. Remember that you are learning to love yourself
first.
‘L’
is for LIVING
Live life at the next level! Through exploring the painful and
negative experiences, you have guided yourself to explore new
alternatives. To start living life in a more fulfilling way,
try new things, look at new ways of taking care of yourself,
find new interests, learn about yourself and how you relate with
others. By challenging some of your old and accepted ways,
you’ll have developed a renewed sense of self. Love yourself.
You can take risks, and by doing so you can enjoy improved
self-esteem and attract positive relationships, passion, fun and
love in your life.
The HEAL method really can accelerate your healing. Start to
love yourself, and you will attract many beautiful things into
your life. For more information about love and relationships,
visit Nicola at
www.njcoaching.co.uk or contact her by telephone on
+44 (0)151 678 9000.
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